Friday, 9 April 2010
by Greenleaf
It can be quite difficult to turn someone down, especially a persistent person. It’s even more of a challenge to learn how to say no nicely.After all, if that guy has been bothering you for ages, don’t you just want to scream “no!” at him and pour a glass of juice over his head? Or if your brother-in-law keeps on asking you for money, it can be quite a struggle not to slam the door in his face.When faced with frustrating situations like these, why on earth, you wonder, would people want to learn how to say no nicely?Well, for starters, getting angry never solves anything. It only puts you at a disadvantage and displays your weakness for all the world to see. Second, there are some people (admit it), who we don’t want to hurt by refusing them. That also puts you in an awkward position.You have the right to say no and the ability to do it nicely. Read on to find out more.
Tip # 1: Say No and Smile
Learning how to say no nicely doesn’t always have to be difficult. For example, if your best friend wants to borrow your shoes for a date tonight and you know that she won’t likely take good care of it, say “no” to her with a smile.
Be sure and confident with your “no” so that she won’t be able to push you to give in to her request. Saying no with a smile is one way of ending the conversation on your terms.
Tip # 2: Say No and Redirect
Another way on how to say no nicely is by redirecting the person to somebody who can also fulfill their request. For example, if your grandmother wants you to take her to a nice dinner, you can always say “no” then tell her that you can get your brother or your sister to accompany her instead. As long as she still gets what she wants in the end, you’re in the clear.
Tip # 3: Say No and Give Encouragement
Here’s another scenario that might be familiar to those who have little brothers or sisters. Say your little brother wants you to help him do a project. If you really can’t help him out, say, “I’m afraid I can’t help you right now, but I know and I believe that you can do a real good job of it by yourself.” Give people that encouragement they need to do things on their own.
Learning how to say no nicely is a strategic move. Hope these 3 tips help keep your life peaceful and out of trouble.
by Greenleaf
Here is a simple way you can feel better and happier about your personal life - right now. It won't cost you anything. Take a few minutes to try it now and you might see some immediate improvements. Repeat it regularly and you'll find the benefits are cumulative over the next few days, weeks and months.Firstly, you need to see yourself in your mind's eye, as if you were looking at someone else. Then try to see the situation that's bothering you as if that belonged to this other person. Taking this detached view, look at the cause and the possible remedy of a particular concern you have. Perhaps you can even talk to this other you, offering advice as you would to a friend in that same predicament. If you are able to see which aspects of your life you can change, and which you simply have to accept, you are already a long way to creating the life you want.If, for instance, you accept that you cannot change other people, you can dispense with one enormous cause of frustration. Sure, you can lead by example, you can ask for change - but that's as far as it goes. If you find other people's behaviors irritating - and who doesn't? - you need to decide whether this is something you can live with, or if it's a relationship breaker. Let's be honest, none of us is perfect. We all have some attitudes that we feel make us who we are, regardless of what others think. If you just can't accept the annoying attitudes of others close to you, does this mean that they can no longer have a place in your life? Now, there's a big question to consider!
If you can look at all the aspects of your life which you are currently less than 100% happy with, and answer the question "can I change this?" with a simple yes or no, you can start improving your personal life immediately.
As soon as you accept that some things are out of your control, you can start to use your energy productively by tackling the things which you do have control over. And as for the things you can't control - well, maybe you could try to find some aspect to laugh at. Even when a situation is just not funny, there might be one small spot of humor to find. Imagine you were relating the story as a stand up comedian - could you find something ridiculous that might raise a smile? Here's the thing: we always have a choice about how we react to something, as in the old cliche "I had to laugh or I'd have cried".
We even have the option to "act happy". It's not always the easiest thing in the world, but it gets better with practice. And the response we'll get from others is well worth the effort. Make up your mind that you are naturally happy. Yes - you can decide to put your happy hat on today and become like one of those lucky souls Orison Swett Marden spoke about: "Some people are born happy. No matter what their circumstances are, they are joyous, content, and satisfied with everything. They carry a perpetual holiday in their eyes, and see joy and beauty everywhere. When we meet them they impress us as having just met with some good luck, or as having some good news to tell."
Expressing yourself in such a way guarantees you will feel better in the long run - it's a bit like the old adage "fake it till you make it". And people around you will act happier, too - which will add to your own sense of well being.
As soon as you start to take action on the things you can make a difference with and begin to appreciate the fun in everyday life, you'll feel better inside. It can start right now - or have you got something else to do right now, more important than improving your enjoyment of life?
by Greenleaf
Can you remember the last time you fell in love with your career? Have you ever felt the ultimate work satisfaction? Hopefully you're not thinking, "Love work? You must be crazy! I've never fallen in love with my career!"Falling in love with your job can be as easy as realizing who your true employer is. Let me give you a hint: It's not the place you work, it's who you work for--i.e. YOU!Even if you're not a business owner, you are still self-employed! Who filled out and submitted your application? Who did the preliminary research? Who went to the interview? Who called back and accepted?Sometimes it's easy to forget who is responsible here. Sometimes it's easy to get bogged down in the "I have to's..." that come with working a regular job or working in your own business. Yet when you remember that you CHOSE your job, you CHOSE your work, or you chose your business, it can help you get back in touch with what attracted you to it in the first place.
Take just a second and jot down three things that made you feel you were a good fit for this job or business. How did your skills and experience match the description? What excited you about the work and why?
Finding the right work is a lot like finding the right mate--There is no guaranteed formula for success and there are lots of options out there. And your partnership with your work grows as you grow; no relationship is static.
So, is falling in love with your job necessary? My hunch is you do. We all do.
I was finding myself dreading certain tasks in my line of work like returning calls and following up on speaking leads. It seemed like much of my time was being consumed by these mundane tasks.
What did I do? I thought of a creative idea for an e-book that excited me every time I thought about it! And I started writing, even if for only fifteen minutes a day! Now the book is done--It became an e-book AND audio package, Get Out of Debt and Get On with Your Life! You can check it out on my website.
I also started a mastermind group of powerful women speakers, trainers, and coaches--something I had dreamt of doing for several years. You can imagine how inviting people I didn't know well or even at all was a daunting task, but I realized I could really have FUN connecting with other women of power. Now this group has been meeting for two years and I'm happy to tell you that we're still going strong!
How do you fall in love with your work? You GET to work! What dream are you putting off? What skill are you procrastinating about learning? What new ideas or experiences can you infuse into your work?
When you marry your passion and your expertise in the work you do, it will be simple to feel the ultimate work satisfaction and fall in love with your job. And other people will, in turn, fall in love with what you do and how you serve them. You will prosper and they will prosper. Now that sounds like a match made in heaven, doesn't it?
by Greenleaf
This is the conventional "wisdom" that has been foisted on so many children during their formative years - when we all formed our view of the world, how it works and our place in it. It suggests that hard work will be rewarded and that you have to work hard to be a success. It suggests that higher level education will make you a better person and will secure your future. And, of course, it suggests that a good job will provide the necessities of life on an ongoing basis and, indeed, security into old age.All of these myths have been busted over the last couple of years. Not only are they the myths of an economic and social system that is in disarray, they are myths that squeeze the very spark of creativity, ingenuity, adventure, enterprise and excitement out of us. And, unfortunately, as psychology tells us, these myths become our beliefs at a very early age - probably, eleven or twelve. And it is for the very reason that these myths are held as subconscious beliefs that so many people are now lost - wondering what has gone wrong, hurting because they see no other way, fearful that if they haven't lost their "good job" already, there is certainly no such thing, any more, as job security.The personal world view encapsulated in the "work hard, go to college, get a good job" attitude diminishes the believer right from the word go. It say that you must conform, it says that this is the path of least resistance, the path that sets out your whole life ahead of you. It closes down your options - not because those options are not there, but because you don't believe that you have them. Above all, it subliminally suggests that you are a flawed person, in need of betterment through an education system that, in its very nature, demands conformity. In short, it squeezes the life out of the vast majority of people - and perpetuates a system whereby very few people rise above the crowd to achieve uncommon success - and system where very few of us find or live our true passion.
And, what's the point of getting up in the morning without passion? Over 70% of Americans don't like their job - they're the lucky ones, of course, that have one. How can you do your best, in your daily life, if you don't like what you're doing? The answer, of course, is that you cannot. Research tells us that to say that normal people only half-heartedly do what they're doing would be to vastly overstate the reality of the situation. Normal people only pay about 1% attention to what they're doing - the rest of their attention or mental energy is lost in the void of those early-created beliefs that have led them to this sorry state.
You need to have excitement in your life - the normal life is boring, in comparison to what life can be, because normal people follow mundane patterns which amount to little more than going through the motions of living. You need to find and to follow your passion - otherwise you are missing out on the true joy of living. Excitement and passion have nothing to do with what is going on around you - they have nothing to do with economic trends or, indeed, what other people think about you. Excitement and passion are all to do with what's going on within. As a result, you don't have to go looking for excitement and passion - let them find you.
Let's take a practical example near to so many people's heart. What if you're doing a job you hate? You have two choices. You can decide to stop hating it or you can do something else. "I hate my job" is a useless thought. In entertaining that useless thought, you diver your energy into the thought, devote less attention to what you're supposed to be doing, as a result of which the job becomes ever more difficult and you end up proving yourself right - it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Research from the University of Chicago shows that some of the most fulfilled people are doing some of the most boring, repetitive jobs - but they choose not to see the job as such. The second option is to take the plunge - do something different, perhaps completely different, something that truly turns you on. This requires what normal people would call courage, but if you're in the right state of mind, such leaps are not courageous, they're simply the obvious thing to do.
Either option requires the correct state of mind - one that is clear and present. A clear and present mind will not give any quarter to useless thought. A clear and present mind will know what to do if a "leap of faith" is called for. By clear and present I simply mean what the words themselves, in their simplicity, actually suggest: clear of thought and focused in the present - the two go hand in hand. You develop this clarity and presence by dismantling your mundane life - in simply, non-threatening ways for starters. More practical examples: eat your breakfast before your shower tomorrow instead of after it; dress yourself starting with the leg and arm that you do not habitually lead with; get up ten minutes earlier and meditate - the list is endless, you can make up your own.
At the end of the day, your passion, excitement, success and happiness is entirely up to you and your state of mind. The ball is in your court - you can stay on the normal set of rails that take you round and round the same little track, or you can jump aboard
by Greenleaf
Everything depends on how much energy you have. Of course it also depends on the quality if the energy you have. The stronger, more powerful and more dynamic your energy is, the stronger, more powerful and more dynamic your contribution to life could possibly be.But all of life's contributions will need energy. You cannot contribute much at all if you don't have any energy,. Perhaps you are taking space and valuable resources in a hospital bed and you can't even stay alive independently.You can make a contribution, if you have some energy. Without energy you will no longer be alive as you need energy just to function. Maybe your contribution in life is determined by the amount of energy you have. You can be a cleaner with some energy. Maybe you would be a banker if you have a lot more energy. It follows that if you have a huge amount of energy, using that analogy; maybe you can start a company and grow it into a huge multinational corporation like Bill Gates.
At the end of the day it all depends on how much energy you have. Of course the quality if the energy you have also makes a difference. The stronger, more powerful and more dynamic your contribution to life could possibly be, the stronger, more powerful and more dynamic your energy is.
So, in life, the valuation of your energy capacity and the quality of that energy is, in fact, your valuation. When your life is ended, how will you be valued? Will your energy level be similar to that of a banker or even Bill Gates or will your energy just be the level required to be a cleaning lady or even just a beggar?
So that you can increase your contribution to your life and to the world, now is the time to start learning how to increase your energy. When you learn how to increase your own energy, you can begin to increase the valuation of your life.
